"Pornstar Membership by the Baker's Dozen!"

Incredible >KaBOOM!< for your buck!

With Pukka German Pro you don't have to win the lottery to get great value. Folks keep telling us that we must be off our rockers to keep our membership fees so low. Some of our members have pointed out that a single private German lesson can easily cost as much as 50 lessons of street-level education with Pukka German. So what do I have to say about that?

Well, it just goes to show how switched-on our members are to recognise kick-ass value when they see it. I mean when you consider that each of our lessons can be taken as often as you like, whenever you like and that they come with loads of interactive practice material all lovingly prepared and packaged, then you'll agree that this is a no-brainer of a deal. Well that's assuming of course that you're serious about learning German - and you're not short of a few marbles yourself.

Lucky number 13! Th-th-th-th thirteen! (or was that na-na-na-na-nineteen?)

Oh never mind. So listen up, this is how it works. Podcasts are divided into seasons. Each season contains a dozen podcasts. As you already know, Lisa and I are nuts about giving you superb value and as Germany is renowned for it's wonderful bakeries, we've decided to chuck in 1 extra podcast for luck to make a baker's dozen. We affectionately call it (drumroll)... "Membership by the Baker's Dozen!" - rather original don't you think?

This means that each season pass purchased gives you access to 13 podcasts + 13 quiz bundles + 13 PDF transcripts for only ten bucks! (Well $9.99 to be exact.) Of course no self respecting sales page would be be complete without a fancy product table, so for your viewing pleasure...

A fancy product table...

Hey itchy click finger... "Don't jump the gun!"

If you're really serious about improving your German I'd recommend waiting before clicking the "Join now" links in the table above. Reason? You guessed it. As a bonus for motivated and loyal Pukka German listeners, the more seasons you buy the more dollars you save. So for our absolute best value deals, choose one of the options below:

Bargain bundles...

Math anyone?... Hmm, think I'll pass.

No stay with me, I promise it'll be an easy and insightful calculation. Take our best value bundle listed last in the list above. That's 52 lessons for $34.95. In other words, no more than 67c per lesson. A quick reminder of what that 67c buys you:

You enjoy access to roughly 20 quiz exercises - actually lots more because some exercises like multiple choice quizzes are divided into 10 individual questions. But for arguments sake, let's be conservative and divide our 67c by 20 and you'll find that you pay less than 3.5c (three and a half cents) per quiz exercise. Oh, and did I mention that we chuck in free downloadable PDF transcript? (Think twice before printing it though - not just to save trees but because a printout could cost nearly as much as your membership! Hell, I'd be surprised if you could even get a pretzel for 67c!) Okay math class is over, I'm sure you get the point.

You can't sell me on price. I'm after quality!

Well now you can have your cake and eat it too! Apart from regular positive feedback that we receive from our Pukka Pro members, this year Pukka German was voted second in The Top Ten Language Podcasts 2008 by Lexiophiles.com (ahead of all other German language podcasts). Not too shabby for our first 6 months online.

It's not just English folks taking note either. What better confirmation of the value of Pukka German than have a respected German newspaper (as well as various other German institutions and websites) approach us to write an article about our show. German natives know that what we teach is the real German lingo - exactly the kind of language that traditionally gives German language learners such a hard time and results in famous idioms like: Deutsche Sprache, schwere Sprache. (German is no piece of cake) - Well, that was before we came along!

Also listeners who've been with us from the start will know that we regularly update and improve our website not only to offer more features, but to make the whole Pukka learning experience more enjoyable. So rest assured that you definitely get your money's worth and a whole lot more. But let me put my money where my mouth is just to eradicate any last doubt that may be looming in the shadows.

Introducing the "Pukka Pro Challenge"

Where you DON'T want to be with your German

In Germany I've met expats who have been living out here for 10 years and more but gave up on the language years ago. Most of them understand more German than it first appears but after becoming frustrated with their progress in the language, they now actively avoid German social gatherings and only speak the language when pinned up against a wall. If you don't believe me, stop in for a Guinness at one of Germany's many Irish pubs because this is a favourite safe haven for many of these folks. Now I love a good pint of Guinness as much as the next guy, but it's a shame to see opportunity squandered. These guys could be having much more fun. Definitely a situation to avoid!

Where you DO want to be, and CAN be!

Forget the rut that you believe your German might be in. Instead, imagine yourself six months from now understanding and speaking German confidently. You are armed with the necessary vocabulary to discuss a wide range of topics. You have an insight into German culture and an exceptional understanding of German colloquial language. You're an insider! On top of that you've mastered some of the most important German idioms and even more importantly, you know the right moment to use them. You are well on your way to German fluency and your German buddies or family members keep telling you how impressed they are. Hell, you can even understand their humour now, and even better, they can understand yours!

Oh, I nearly forgot to mention...

If you just want a little Pukka German taster you can try the quizzes for our very first podcast PG1: Ve haff vays of making you talk! for free. You could also pick and choose by paying for individual podcasts. Think of it like buying a music single as opposed to the full album. "Pukka Singles" cost $1.99 and can be signed up for from the podcast lesson page directly (...and no sorry, we don't do ringtones!)

Final combined product table...

Now I'll leave in peace to take a few moments to decide what season plan suits you best. We are excited about sending you an official welcome mail and having you actively improve you German over on this side with me, where the grass is as green and lush as German meadow in Spring time :)